Love...Or Is It?

I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends lately. My friend Sabian often calls me when he needs to bounce ideas off of someone and this was no surprise. He is entering a contest with the New York Times to write an article about what is modern day love. One reason why I enjoy talking to him is because he always offers a perspective that opens my eyes to a whole new world that is right in front of me. (Sidenote: This is why I love the gays!!) He started off our discussion asking have I ever felt like I had a hidden love. And I told him I did. One time when I was in grammar school, there was this boy that I eventually grew to like and vice versa because we sat near each other in several of our classes. We would joke and chat a lot and just enjoy each other's company. I always looked forward to seeing him everyday in school. However, when he got around the more popular girls, he would often overlook me because I was the nerd and well you know popular girls trump nerdy girls in the teenage world. However, when we would have our moments together (like being in the closet room, walking down the hall just me and him, etc.), those were the moments that often drew us together and our feelings developed. But then the hurt would come back when I was ignored by him in the public eye.

After I told Sabian my story, that struck a nerve and gave him some ideas. Now, I won't go into the ideas, but it made me realize how hard it must be to be gay, especially on a college campus (more specifically HBCUs). It is normal to see a man and a woman holding hands as they walk down the street, but often times, some gay couples aren't awarded this simple but emotional opportunity. It is not the same for gay people to show their ways of affection publicly as it is for a straight couple to do so. That makes me wonder...is it love then? Is it love when you are forced to hide it from the world, but behind closed doors, actions of love can erupt? Our conversation just really made me wonder what exactly is love. I'm just 22 years old...never really been in love (with the exception of Ludacris and Chris Brown), but I am pretty sure that love should be broadcasted. But what if it can't be broadcasted? Then, is it love? Is it love when a man and a man or a woman and a woman say that it's love? Or does our society uphold a certain standard of what love is and even if so, does the society's standard of love actually declare that it's love? Not tryna get all sappy, but I just thought that a small recap of my conversation with Sabian might light a spark with others. I feel like love shouldn't be hidden, but my heart goes out to those that feel like their "love" isn't validated enough to be shared both publicly and privately without be ridiculed or looked down upon. It often hurts my heart. Well, that's it for this entry. I just thought I'd throw that out there into the atmosphere. Leave your questions, comments, concerts, all that good jazz! Ta Ta for now! Toodles! XOXO