I have come to the beautiful conclusion of a slightly evident, but developing interest of mine. One day, I just might seriously study it. This interest of mine is sexuality and religion (well more specifically Christianity first). Over the years, I have realized how oppressive christianity has become in regards to anybody that's not heterosexual. It often disturbs me. I have a lot of friends that are not straight and I love them to death. I had a conversation some time ago with one of my friends from college that is a Christian. We had a very deep discussion about one of our friends that we knew was gay, but basically waiting for them to admit to us (if that person decided to do so). Anyway, she was telling me how concerned she was because of him being gay, he won't be able to get into heaven. That statement has stayed with me for about a year now (shows how long ago that conversation was lol).
I have come to the understanding that sexuality is not a choice. Just like being black isn't a choice either. I grew up (and still attend, but that might change) in Trinity United Church of Christ, where we are "unashamedly black and apologetically Christian". I will admit I am glad I grew up there because it is important to know and understand as a black person how the world perceives you and defines you, but to also have the power to define one self. The Liberation theology (which is definitely practiced at my church) is a Christian movement in political theology which interprets the teachings of Jesus Christ in terms of a liberation from unjust economic, political, or social conditions and what better place to explore this than that Black Church. There used to be this misperception that you can't be black and a Christian because Christianity is a white man's religion, but this theology helps to re-affirm blackness. Being black and proud was and is still a struggle that needs to be overcome, but I dare to declare that there is a new struggle in the realm of Christianity, being Christian and being gay.
I am only 22 years old so life is just now beginning to unfold itself to me. One thing that I don't understand is how can people be condemned for being born gay? In all my life, I have never encountered God in a way to make me born a sinful way only to be condemned to hell. For instance, being black used to be considered bad. So does that mean I'm going to hell because my mom birthed me as a black child? Being a part of Jesus Christ's team shouldn't be oppressive, if anything you are supposed to find a new freedom in Christ. One thing that I intend to do (not sure when, but I will do it) is to seriously sit and research scriptures that condemn homosexuality and read the true meaning behind it. I often wonder what it would be like if the bible was re-created or updated today. Often times, people take the bible for literal and face value, but the word of God says, "Study to show thyself approved". What does it mean to study? According to dictionary.com to study means, "application of the mind to the acquisition of knowledge, by reading, investigation, or reflection" and that is exactly what I intend to do.
It seems to be very disturbing to me how God can use a prosperity pimp through tax collecting (Peter), a betrayer (Judas), someone who had speech problems (Moses), a WOMAN (Esther, that's for those that believe women can't preach. I refuse to believe that, especially since women were the first ones to be witnesses to Jesus' resurrection, but I digress), and various others in the bible to be vessels and carriers of his word. So, why wouldn't God use a homosexual?
Also, I want to know why is there so much emphasis about sexuality in the first place? Yes God created us as sexual beings. I mean think about it, there is an even a whole book of the bible that has sexual references (look it up for yourself), but for some reason, sexuality (depending on your association) can categorize your downfall as a human being and as a child of God. I really want to know why that is. But of course before that journey begins, I need to research sexuality as a whole. Now, I will admit I have read several times that there is a correlation between being raped (which of course is not a choice) and sexuality, which also sparks my curiosity, but what grabs my attention more is relationship between Christianity and sexuality.
No one is perfect. But it has always been disturbing to me how some christians are quick to take up God's role of who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. If truth be told, the ones that are scared about homosexuality and the ones that are doing the condemnation are very well afraid to admit it to themselves that they are the same people...that's called self-hate but I digress. So yes, I hope to be able to a study on that one day. That vision has been in my head for a long time. I really believe that we allow the social constructs of this world to define us more than we need to. We are all guilty of it. I think freedom of the mind and spirit is the best freedom to be able to experience. My mission in life is to free the mind of ignorance, think for oneself, and not be ashamed of those thoughts. Well yep there you have it. That's my developing interest. I hope to possibly write a book about it. I don't know we'll see. Ta ta for now...TOODLES! XOXO
P.S. Maybe my next post will be about the validity of the bible...there are several things I question about it. This is why it is important to "study".
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