Thursday, October 6, 2011

Blast From The Past: Friendship + Sex

First of all before I start this topic, I absolutely must get something very important off of my chest...me and Ludacris are meant to be together. Lol now I needed to say that because it's just way too many coincidences that me and him have that support my case. For instance, there was one time in DC he had a Conjure Cognac party and I really wanted to go but didn't have the money. So I tried to get in the club before 10:00 p.m. so I could get in free, but we got to the front of the line at like 10:03 and the man tried to charge me $40. Thank goodness to my features, club dress, and manipulative ways, I got in that bitch for $10 lol. But anywho, when he finally got on stage at the club, guess who he gave some Conjure Cognac to? Yeah you already know...ME! And he gave me 3 cups lol see that's love. Also, I rapped on the mic his lyrics to P-Poppin lol that man loves me. Then he has RTed me TWICE...not once...twice! That's because he loves me. And the first time he tweeted me was when I told him he must have found out he's a married man because of the rumor at the time. And he tweeted me to clarify and reassure me that I am still the one for him lmao. And I have both of his products, Conjure Cognac and Soul by Ludacris headphones (which are GREAT by the way! Go cop 'em!) accounts following me on Twitter. AND my tweet is featured on his Soul by Ludacris website lol he wants me included in all areas of his life. See all my evidence?? lol you can't say I'm crazy now...all that is just way too coincidental for it to simply be a coincidence, it's fate...it's our destiny. lol I know I sound crazy, but anywho into the actual topic of today's post.

Had a very interesting conversation with one of my close friends a couple of days ago. Basically one of his friends (which is a mutual friend) has proposed to him that they become fuck buddies. Now, I addressed this topic in an earlier post, but this conversation enlightened me on some things (and well I was actually out of this world when I was talking to him so I was thinking thoughts I probably normally wouldn't have thought about). The first thing I thought (since I know the both of them) was why was my friend asked this question. If a friend ever asks you to be sex buddies, listen. Out of all their friends in the world, they decided to ask you. Now, because this rose as a concern to me, I immediately thought about how complicated sex can make this friendship. Now I know that one of them can have sex without being emotionally attached, but the other person, not so much. I think feelings would develop from one person and the other not feel the same way, hence causing major tension in the friendship. And at this point, their friendship has grown a lot closer. Also, when considering becoming sex buddies with a close friend, seriously think about how sex can change the friendship and is the friendship at that very moment worth risking?

HOWEVER, on the flip side (yes there is a flip side), there can be definitely be a positive side to becoming sex buddies with a close friend. For those that don't know me, I like to take life on a ride and I also think that complicating your friendship with sex can be one hell of a ride. You have the emotional connection with a friend on top of (hopefully) mind blowing, boot knocking, headboard banging, out of this world...sex. And to be honest, this can be the ride of a lifetime. For all you know, this person can be the one. I have always told myself that I want to fall in love with my friend. I feel like the man I will hopefully be with will start off as my best friend. And well sex has the power to take a friendship to a whole different level. But I do wonder, can one honestly have emotionless sex with a close friend? I mean strong feelings have already developed between close friends without sex...think of how it would be including sex. Another thing that I thought about is fear. My friend was on the fence about the decision and so when he was talking about the negative side of the situation, I asked him what was he afraid of. Often times we allow fear to cripple us in so many areas of life - professional, social, sexual, intellectual, emotional...and the list goes on. I asked him are you satisfied with the idea of this fear holding you back from saying yes? Is fear being a productive role in your decision making? Quite honestly, sometimes fear can be good. It will keep you in check and can potentially protect you from unknown dangers. However, fear can also deprive you of a lifelong happiness. If you are ever put in this situation, evaluate how valid (or invalid) your fear is in regards to the situation. So what is my verdict on the issue of friends with benefits? Well after the conversation that I had plus my own personality, I think I would personally take another risk and have a friend with benefits parter, when I'm ready for an emotional connection. Right now, no strings attached lol that's that good ole single life for ya! There were some other thoughts I had on this topic from the conversation that I can't recall now. Smh I should have blogged about this topic right when I first thought about doing so...shame on me. Anywho, leave your comments, questions, and concerns on this post. Hope this shines a brighter light on that situation and challenges you in thinking...or something lol newho ta ta for now! TOODLES! XOXO

No comments:

Post a Comment