Masculinity vs. Feminity: What Truly Defines A Man and A Woman

"This right here is my swag! All the girls are on me damn! Everybody pay attention. This right here is my pretty boy swag! Ay!" "My chick bad my chick hood my chick do stuff that yo' chick wish she could" These songs and several others are songs that are have been anthems for men and women in the black community have defined us. Typically when we describe a man, we talk about his swag (or lack thereof). And when we talk about women, we talk about how she's a bad chick (or make reference to other hip hop/r&b songs that allude to it). However, one thing that I have always noticed is that we often equate masculinity with men and femininity with women. And I often wonder why is that the case? To be quite honest, there are a lot of ways in which we let this society define us, and I have come to the conclusion of sickening it is. We need to define ourselves, but I digress. 

I had a conversation with one of my male gay friends (if you haven't noticed by now, all the gays love me lol) and we had an interesting conversation about what defines a man and a woman. For those that don't know, I am such a tomboy. Even when I was growing up, I rocked corn rolls, shopped in the boys sections of department stores, and played all the boy sports (basketball, football, baseball, etc.). Before I became a member of the DD ministry, I seriously looked just like a boy (times have changed for me, but I still have my tom boyish ways). My gay male friend however looks, sounds, and has the demeanor of a "woman". So...I pose this question to you all...what defines a man or a woman? Does it make me less of a "woman" (whatever that might be) simply because I may be more masculine than some "men". Is a "feminine" man less of a man because of his femininity? 

Another reason why I ponder about this is because the role of women and men has changed over the years. In previous generations, the role of a man was to "bring home the bacon" and the role of the woman was to take care of home. Nowadays, women (in many households) are the bread winners and you can actually find men being the caretakers of home. Now, since the gender roles have changed, does that make a male homemaker less of a man or a career woman less of a woman?

I am almost convinced that masculinity, femininity, man, and woman are all social constructs. If you ask me, I find it perfectly fine for a female to be a little masculine and that doesn't take away from her being a woman, whatever a definition of being a woman is. The same goes for a man...if a man is a little more on the "how you doin" (in my Wendy William's voice) side of life, just because he is more feminine does not take away from the fact that he is a strong black man...or does it? I guess that depends on your working definition of a man and a woman. So let me hear it, how do you define a man and a woman and what role does masculinity and femininity play in your definition? Well that's all I wanted to put out there in the atmosphere today. Ta ta for now...TOODLES!!! XOXO 

The Mentality of this world being Black and White...or is it really?

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR THE CLOSED MINDED!!!

Black and white. Yes or no. Up and down. We have all been conditioned at some point in our lives to believe that it's one way or the other, and hardly ever either or. I often wonder what type of person I would be if it wasn't for the world's heavy influence of dictatorship on my life. One thing that I believe that is NOT black and white is sexuality. Often we hear people claim to believe that they are either straight or gay. I have even heard people say that they do not believe in bisexuality. I will admit, I used to be the same way. However I had a deep (and recurring) conversation with one of my friends about sexuality not too long ago.

First of all, before I can even discuss sexuality, a working definition has to be established. I'm sure if I was to ask everybody what exactly does sexuality mean, we would have several definitions, so for this conversation, I will provide us with a definition, a definition that I may not completely agree with but for conversational purposes, a definition must be established. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines sexuality as follows: the quality or state of being sexual: a. the condition of having sex b. sexual activity c. expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive. Now personally, when I read this definition, I can say that I definitely didn't agree with it. The reason why I don't agree with it is because from my interpretation of reading this definition, it kind of equates sex and sexuality and I personally don't think that it's the same (but then I looked in the thesaurus and discovered there are no synonyms for sexuality so maybe the definition doesn't equate sex and sexuality as one in the same...but I digress). HOWEVER, I do not negate the fact that sexuality and sex have some sort of relationship. Now, why don't I think that sex and sexuality are the same thing? You can choose who you want to have sex with (male or female), but you don't choose your sexuality. Some ignorant people (by ignorant I mean absence of knowing) think that sexuality is a choice. That's like telling me I chose to be a female and I chose to be black - it doesn't work like that.

So, what exactly is it that I want to say about sexuality? I may be bold in what I'm about to say, but I am going to say it anyway. I don't think there's anyone that's 100% straight or 100% gay. Yep I said it. I honestly believe that we as sexual being are attracted to certain characteristics...some of which we may only find in men, some of which we may find only in females...depending on one's experience. I'll be bare and honest in stating my claim. I am attracted to men. The certain type of man (in terms of physicality) I am attracted to is a black man with locks, a black man with nice waves, and preferably the man taller than me. That's typically what I am attracted to. Now, I have also found myself walking down the street and seeing these same characteristics in females...but not knowing that she was a female until I got a better look at her. Does that make me gay now? I think not. It just shows that from outward appearance that I am attracted to what I am attracted to...which are locks and waves rocked by a masculine individual. I would go into masculinity and femininity, but I'd rather not lol.

If this world didn't separate gays and straights (or even bisexuality), I wonder if we would claim such titles. This world always tries to categorize us, and we all know that categories are social constructs (and if you don't know, now you know lol). Now, that's not to say that there may not be anyone that's 100% homosexual or 100% heterosexual. But I do often wonder if this world didn't define us, and we as individuals defined ourselves, what type of persons would we be? Would the heavy notion of sexuality be what really defines us? Let's be honest...in the society we live in, sexuality defines a person. I personally believe that sexuality shouldn't define a person...there's more to someone than just their sexuality. However, let's briefly examine why there is such a heavy weight on sexuality.

As an African American and as a woman, I know about oppression. Granted, I was not around when slavery was about, but that doesn't negate the fact that I know about oppression. With that being said, my heart goes out to my brothers and sisters who's sexual orientation and sexuality isn't that of what society wants to define it as...simply straight. A gay man or a gay woman doesn't fit the picture of a husband, a wife, 2 kids, a dog, and a cat with a big white house that our society paints. Religion condemns people straight to hell for having a different sexual orientation. Now, I can save religion and sexuality for another day because that is a discussion in and of itself, but let's be honest, the gay population is also oppressed.

Now, I said all of that to propose to you all to change for a brief second your perception. This world is NOT black and white, yes or no, up or down. If we're honest with ourselves this world has gray in it, it is composed of some maybes, and there's a middle point between two different directions. I chose sexuality because it is so complex, but this thinking can be applied to more than just sexuality. Those are just my thoughts. You can accept them or reject them. That's fine lol. Leave some comments, questions, and concerns. Anywho, I enjoyed writing this entry. Ta-ta for now! TOODLES!! XOXO

I introduce to you....HALONA JACKSON!!!!! *crowd goes wild*

I was having trouble deciding what my first blog post to the world was going to be. I didn't know if I should start off real heavy with a controversial topic or just talk about butterflies. I figured the best way to start off this blog is to simply introduce myself (which is a contradiction because I'm not a simple person *smiles*). Now on to my introduction...which is what this is supposed to be...

GREETINGS!!! My name is Halona Jackson. I am 21 years old, hailing from the world's greatest city hands down...CHICAGO, IL!!! I am currently a student at the prestigious institution, Howard University, and my major is English. At Howard University, I'm somewhat a busy bee. I am a part of the Howard Gospel Choir, which I have been a part of for four years now. As a part of the Howard Gospel Choir, I serve as the chairperson of the Ministry Team. I am also a member of Chapel Assistants (aka CA). I serve on the eBoard as the RFC (Religious Fellowship Council) representative and I was just elected Vice President of RFC (yay me!!! I'm highkey excited).

Now, I'm sure you are wondering (or maybe you're not) what it is that I want to do with my life. At one point in time I wanted to be a librarian, then I wanted to be a pilot, and I kinda wanted to be rapper for a little bit, but what I want to be is (drum roll please......*drum roll*) an ordained minister!!!!! You're excited right? Probably not...and that's fine. There is a semi-long story as to how I came to this calling...that might be a future post to be honest.

So, the reason why I wanted to start this blog is because I've always wanted to discuss various topics in an open type setting. I'm an outspoken individual and with a bold voice and just want to plant seeds just like seeds have been planted within me. My blog will range from topics on sexuality to ants lol. I want my audience to laugh, cry, think, be changed, and be challenged. Also, if you have questions to ask me. If you have a topic that you want my opinion on, tell me. If you hate my blog, express it to me lol. No, but seriously, I want to have fun with this blog, but also be informative and inspirational as well.  So today's blog was just a "hey how you doing?" *in Wendy William's voice*. I hope you're ready for this ride because we're about to take off!!!!! Ta Ta for now...toodles!!!