So...I used to joke with my friends a lot about how I hate school and whatnot, but I have come to the sad realization that it is definitely the truth. One thing (and it might really be the only thing that I don't like about college) is that it tries institutionalize how I think. It is one thing to have me learn new things, acquire new knowledge, but then it's a different thing to try and condition me to think a certain way. That is what I do not like. With being an English major, there is a lot of ambiguity. In being an English major we are to learn how to make critical analysis. However, I often feel that if the analysis or thought process isn't how the professor wants it, then it's wrong. I think that is a contradiction. How can one say that one's interpretation of a literary text is right or wrong? If it's different, I can accept it being that, but wrong??? That is where I cannot stand. This isn't to say that this has necessarily happens to me all the time, this is just an observation that I have made in general (happens to me and others).
This second dislike about higher education may be because I attend an HBCU, but I am increasingly annoyed and tired of having to forever over-exaggerate being black. Meaning I am tired of always having to re-affirm my blackness. I am dark skinned, there is absolutely no way I can separate myself from being black just like I can't separate myself from being a woman...it's impossible. I am an individual that doesn't like to be boxed in and always categorized. Granted that means I have an issue with society as a whole because that's all this society does...place labels on me and people in general. Anywho, I always find that I have to write and analyze a lot from the perspective of being a black person. That is too comfortable, especially seeing as to how I attend an HBCU. The unfortunate part is I am not the only one that feels this way...that almost disturbs me. Now I grew up in a church that has taught me to be unashamedly black and unapologetically Christian, but after a while I get tired of always feeling like I bear the burden of proclaiming my blackness...I'm black...enough said.
Where did this whole thing start? Well I was sitting in one of my English classes. In this class we learn about different types of criticism. That's fine...the class teaches us how to analyze works from different perspectives. However, one chapter that I noticed we skipped over in our book was lesbian, queer, and gay criticism. Now from my other blog posts you might wonder why am I always discussing sexuality. This is why...as an African American woman, I know about oppression. The new oppression (not negating that the black struggle isn't over, but it is not the only struggle) is sexuality. If you aren't heterosexual, you are looked down upon. Point blank period. I find that it is problematic that my class skips this chapter. We can sit up in just about all of my classes and discuss being black all day and night (which becomes a tired discussion to me after a while), but we can't discuss other pressing issues such as sexuality. It bothers me that this is taboo because we are at a university...an educational institution where we are supposed to be free to discuss just about anything. However, I can clearly see that there is still no freedom in being institutionalized.
So now all of that is said and done what does any of this mean? Nothing...just venting. It's unfortunate that I feel this way, but I have to suck it up and keep it moving because I need a degree (actually another one after undergrad) to be what I want to be....an ordained minister. *Sigh* it angers me that I feel this way...I often feel like people won't understand, so this is why I decided to just blog my frustrating thoughts. Anywho it was good posting yet another blog. Like always, feel free to comment on this blog...I want to know your thoughts. Are you seriously frustrated with college? If so, what frustrates you about it? Let it all out..I just did! It makes you feel a little better....*smiles* Ta ta for now...TOODLES!!!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Call Me Crazy But...
So, I have these weird (well what I call to be weird...but who knows it might be normal) thoughts that fly around in my head...here goes some of my thoughts
1. There is a cure for AIDS, a cure for cancer, etc. Pharmaceutical companies are just profiting a lot from the suffering of others. Think about it, if pharmaceutical companies released these cures, there wouldn't be a need for their existence and therefore they would lose money.
2. No one owns money and because of that, there can never be a true definition of wealth. Think about it...who owns the legal tender that is in your pocket? The government doesn't even own the money. It's funny how we talk about how much money we "have", but it's not ours. Now I see why older people were full of pride with the ownership of homes that they physically built...that is something that they can truly call their own.
3. Technology is the devil. Remember the days when we had to memorize each other's numbers? We actually exercised our brains. Now, we barely talk to one another. We text but we barely use our anytime minutes. And if we lose our phones, we feel like we lost our lives.
4. There is a secret plan going on behind hip hop music. There is a reason why hip hop seems to be dumbing us down. Think about it. There was a time where hip hop used to be informative. Now, all we do is dance to rhythmic beats and catchy phrases with little to no meaning. I know I'm supposed to be the change that I want to see...maybe I should jump into this rap game and turn it upside down...not for money and fame, but for necessity.
5. I believe that the government killed Michael Jackson. Now honestly, that is a whole different blog post in and of itself, but I believe that Michael Jackson had a powerful message for the world in his last concert and he was killed before he could even give it to the world. Be clear, if one sits downs and studies Michael Jackson's songs, music videos, etc. one can possibly add up the huge message that Michael Jackson had to deliver to the world.
6. To be ignorant is to be happy. To be educated can lead to sadness. I actually laughed out loud when I typed that. I think this to a certain extent though. Sometimes it is better to not know some things, how things work, how things function, why things are the way they are. The reason why I say to be educated can lead to sadness is because the reality of our world is sad. However, if you are ignorant (meaning absence of knowing) of what is going on and how things function, one can truly be happy. Now I am not saying that we should all be ignorant...I'm just saying that sometimes being educated is definitely a burden.
7. There is no distinction of sexuality. If you want my opinion about sexuality, refer back to my previous blog entries.
8. The best way to live is fight for life so hard that you are willing to die for something.
9. If one is dwelling in his or her thoughts too long and hard, one can be insane (tries to stop thinking now before that happens lol)
10. My thoughts are so out of the box that when I become "somebody" I can be killed because of them...think about the greats that have been killed...and think about how "out of the box" their thoughts are. If a lot of us really exposed some of our thoughts that could better this world, somebody's not gon' like it.
Alright that's enough of all that. Tell me a few of your "call me crazy but..." thoughts. Who knows...you might not be the only one thinking some of these things. Ta ta for now...toodles!! XOXO
1. There is a cure for AIDS, a cure for cancer, etc. Pharmaceutical companies are just profiting a lot from the suffering of others. Think about it, if pharmaceutical companies released these cures, there wouldn't be a need for their existence and therefore they would lose money.
2. No one owns money and because of that, there can never be a true definition of wealth. Think about it...who owns the legal tender that is in your pocket? The government doesn't even own the money. It's funny how we talk about how much money we "have", but it's not ours. Now I see why older people were full of pride with the ownership of homes that they physically built...that is something that they can truly call their own.
3. Technology is the devil. Remember the days when we had to memorize each other's numbers? We actually exercised our brains. Now, we barely talk to one another. We text but we barely use our anytime minutes. And if we lose our phones, we feel like we lost our lives.
4. There is a secret plan going on behind hip hop music. There is a reason why hip hop seems to be dumbing us down. Think about it. There was a time where hip hop used to be informative. Now, all we do is dance to rhythmic beats and catchy phrases with little to no meaning. I know I'm supposed to be the change that I want to see...maybe I should jump into this rap game and turn it upside down...not for money and fame, but for necessity.
5. I believe that the government killed Michael Jackson. Now honestly, that is a whole different blog post in and of itself, but I believe that Michael Jackson had a powerful message for the world in his last concert and he was killed before he could even give it to the world. Be clear, if one sits downs and studies Michael Jackson's songs, music videos, etc. one can possibly add up the huge message that Michael Jackson had to deliver to the world.
6. To be ignorant is to be happy. To be educated can lead to sadness. I actually laughed out loud when I typed that. I think this to a certain extent though. Sometimes it is better to not know some things, how things work, how things function, why things are the way they are. The reason why I say to be educated can lead to sadness is because the reality of our world is sad. However, if you are ignorant (meaning absence of knowing) of what is going on and how things function, one can truly be happy. Now I am not saying that we should all be ignorant...I'm just saying that sometimes being educated is definitely a burden.
7. There is no distinction of sexuality. If you want my opinion about sexuality, refer back to my previous blog entries.
8. The best way to live is fight for life so hard that you are willing to die for something.
9. If one is dwelling in his or her thoughts too long and hard, one can be insane (tries to stop thinking now before that happens lol)
10. My thoughts are so out of the box that when I become "somebody" I can be killed because of them...think about the greats that have been killed...and think about how "out of the box" their thoughts are. If a lot of us really exposed some of our thoughts that could better this world, somebody's not gon' like it.
Alright that's enough of all that. Tell me a few of your "call me crazy but..." thoughts. Who knows...you might not be the only one thinking some of these things. Ta ta for now...toodles!! XOXO
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