Masculinity vs. Feminity: What Truly Defines A Man and A Woman

"This right here is my swag! All the girls are on me damn! Everybody pay attention. This right here is my pretty boy swag! Ay!" "My chick bad my chick hood my chick do stuff that yo' chick wish she could" These songs and several others are songs that are have been anthems for men and women in the black community have defined us. Typically when we describe a man, we talk about his swag (or lack thereof). And when we talk about women, we talk about how she's a bad chick (or make reference to other hip hop/r&b songs that allude to it). However, one thing that I have always noticed is that we often equate masculinity with men and femininity with women. And I often wonder why is that the case? To be quite honest, there are a lot of ways in which we let this society define us, and I have come to the conclusion of sickening it is. We need to define ourselves, but I digress. 

I had a conversation with one of my male gay friends (if you haven't noticed by now, all the gays love me lol) and we had an interesting conversation about what defines a man and a woman. For those that don't know, I am such a tomboy. Even when I was growing up, I rocked corn rolls, shopped in the boys sections of department stores, and played all the boy sports (basketball, football, baseball, etc.). Before I became a member of the DD ministry, I seriously looked just like a boy (times have changed for me, but I still have my tom boyish ways). My gay male friend however looks, sounds, and has the demeanor of a "woman". So...I pose this question to you all...what defines a man or a woman? Does it make me less of a "woman" (whatever that might be) simply because I may be more masculine than some "men". Is a "feminine" man less of a man because of his femininity? 

Another reason why I ponder about this is because the role of women and men has changed over the years. In previous generations, the role of a man was to "bring home the bacon" and the role of the woman was to take care of home. Nowadays, women (in many households) are the bread winners and you can actually find men being the caretakers of home. Now, since the gender roles have changed, does that make a male homemaker less of a man or a career woman less of a woman?

I am almost convinced that masculinity, femininity, man, and woman are all social constructs. If you ask me, I find it perfectly fine for a female to be a little masculine and that doesn't take away from her being a woman, whatever a definition of being a woman is. The same goes for a man...if a man is a little more on the "how you doin" (in my Wendy William's voice) side of life, just because he is more feminine does not take away from the fact that he is a strong black man...or does it? I guess that depends on your working definition of a man and a woman. So let me hear it, how do you define a man and a woman and what role does masculinity and femininity play in your definition? Well that's all I wanted to put out there in the atmosphere today. Ta ta for now...TOODLES!!! XOXO