AnolahBlackFox Video Post: HBCUs

AnolahBlackFox First Video Post: Hip Hop (an extension of previous blog post)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d-TmA8vw5w

My Dilemna With Music

So...I have been feeling this way for quite some time about music now and this is the first time I put my thoughts out in the atmosphere. First and foremost let me say that I love me some music! Anybody that knows me knows that I love my ipod with a passion and I never leave home without it. Even as I'm blogging I'm listening to music (playing R. Kelly's album Untitled...ppl sleepin on it lol Pregnant is my ish!!!!). Now my thoughts about music are only geared towards the genres of music that I listen to (hip hop, R&B, rap, and gospel) so bare that in mind as you read this entry.

For a while now, I can honestly say that I have progressively become bored with music. Yes...bored. By bored I mean that I haven't heard any new music. Granted we have new up and coming artists like Nicki Minaj and Drake just to name a few, but they don't even do much for me. For example, in the rap game, the topics that are mostly rapped about are guns, sex, violence, and rappers being egotistical about how they're the greatest. Some rappers (emphasis on some) even have a creative lyrical flow about how they deliver their message that captivates their audience. But frankly I'm tired of hearing the same stuff essentially over and over again after a while. Even with gospel music, I feel like at times it's just watered down religion. It doesn't captivate me anymore. I'm better off just reading deep theological mind stimulating books and calling it a day.

I never told anyone this, but I had a very vivid dream about this issue. Now, I joke around with my friends saying that I'm going to be a rapper, but I had a dream where I released my first mixtape entitled What You Want vs What You Need. The "What You Want" part of the mixtape is the stereotypical mainstream hip hop music you hear all the time: catchy beat, catchy hook, same lyrical content. The What You Need part of the mixtape has real substance in terms of its message (can't tell you what the lyrical content is at this point...it was just a dream lol). What makes this whole thing kinda strange is I actually wrote a rap song and performed it before (it was for my church's youth revival). Many people were actually shocked that I was able to do it and several people even said I should seriously consider rapping. I just shrugged it off, but now this makes me wonder. I mean honestly not everybody can relate to killing someone and being behind bars. I know I can't. But the dream made me think should I create the music that I want to listen to? And since I'll have a message to pass it on to others? Makes me go hmm...

OR could this just mean that I haven't found an artist to listen to that will give me what I want. I'm tired of mainstream music...it honestly bores me. To my followers, do you have artists to suggest to me within the genres that I listed that aren't doing the same ole same ole and have music with real substance? Shoot...I honestly might start making my own music one day...remember this post if I really do it...it all started with a dream lol. Anywho leave your comments. Help me out on some new artists to listen to or just let me know how you feel about music today. Ta Ta for now...toodles!!! XOXO

Whip My Hair - Why Must It Define Me

"I Whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)!!! That is my jam!!! Usually at the end of the song, I need a neck massage. That song goes hard...literally...I don' damn near broke my neck, but I digress. Anywho, as many know, one of the biggest businesses in this country is the hair industry. (Pause: Ignition just came on Pandora...gotta go in for a few seconds...this is STILL my jam!!Too bad R Kelly ain't interested in me...I'm 22 and too old for him smh). My bad...newayz black women sure know that our hair is our crown. From the bogus lace fronts (where we can see the stupid lacefront) to the couple thousand sew-ins, black women make th industry boom. Now, as many of you all know, I go to Howard University. Several people that I know have asked me how come I haven't gone natural. I enjoy my creamy crack and apparently to a lot of people I have some washed up mentality since I love how my roots get straightened.

Not many people know this, but I was natural more than half of my life. I do not miss when my mama used to wash my hair and then she would have to comb my nappy hair and I felt like I was really goin thru. I do not miss when my mother would blow dry my hair and I felt like I was experiencing death because I would have a headache out of this world. I do not miss my mama using that good ole stove, put that hot comb on it, and come back and burn the back of my head while I'm sittin there screamin and my mama pop me in the back of the head to tell me to shut up (sing Stevie!!!! Ribbon in the sky just came on!!!!).

I have my hair cut and relaxed hair is good for me. Apparently I'm not black enough since I haven't returned back to my nappy roots. Why? Because I don't have locks or my hair standing up in a fro, I'm subjected to the white man right? Please, I'm darker than most...I couldn't lie about being black if I wanted to! Why must my hair define me? When I originaly cut my hair, people were shocked because it was a little past my back. When I started (Sexual Healing needs not to play right now..."Baby I'm hot just like an oven I need some lovin'!!" Man I want some sexual healing...maybe after this blog post...) to slowly cut my hair, people were really upset with me. I just don't understand why my hair is such a big deal. For the most part, people that transition back to being natural experience some amazing mind freeing transformation. Well I like to argue that with my permed hair, when I get different haircuts, I experience transformations as well. When my hair is getting cut, in my mind, I cut off things that restrict me. I become more free and more bold. Life has new doors for me to go through. I do what I want and am carefree about what others think. (Freak'n Me just came on...I simply cannot deal with Ms. Pandora right now...). I just get tired of people telling me I need to let the chemicals go...NO!!! It has helped me deal with the tangles of my hair and made my life a little easier...although I do one day want to lock up, but of course that idea gets pushed back when that part is made in my scalp and my roots feel that creamy substance. Anyway, I'm just tired of people trying to define me by the texture and length of my hair. I do not need my hair to be kinky to define me being black and hair isn't just beautiful when it's long and flowy (whether it's through genes or the length was bought). Hair is beautiful period because it is yours. Long hair, short hair, kinky hair, relaxed hair...it's all good in the hood with me!! Why must so much emphasis be put on a black woman's head to define her? Do black men experience the same pressures in terms of how they where their hair? I don't know. Leave your comments and let me know. I say however you wear your hair, wear it proudly and WHIP IT HONEY!!!! Xoxo...until next time...ta ta for now...TOODLES!!

Tell Me Again That We'll Be Lovers and Friends...

"Sometime I wanna be your lover, sometime I wanna be your friend, sometime I wanna hug ya,
hold hands, slow-dance while the record spins" (words by my beautiful and sexy husband Ludacris). Well if you haven't figured out today's blog entry by now, let me be blunt in saying that it's about friends with benefits. My fellow blogger CrackCupCakes (crackcupcakes.blogspot.com check her out she's mad hilarious!!!) already tackled this topic, but I however decided to jump on this one because I can personally give a lil somethin somethin 'bout this one too. Enough wit the chit chat, let's get right to it. 

The Good - One of the great benefits of having a friend with benefits is that you get the friend and the sex all wrapped in one. You can have what you want when you want it from that one person that you are hella cool with, but don't want a relationship with for whatever reason (long distance, fear, just got out of relationship, etc.). It is nice to have someone that you can chlll and kick it with and then that same person blow your back out making you have to learn how to walk all over again...(catch it..I need to come out of my thoughts). For some, the whole concept of "no strings attached" is more exciting than a relationship. With the friends with benefits package, you get everything you one for one low cut ghetto price! Okay that sounded kinda prostitutish so let me move on to the next one...

The Bad - So...sometimes this whole "friends with benefits" thing can work to a certain extent. Always pick your "buddy" wisely. One problem is that later on somebody can get caught up in their feelings. They may actually become a tidbit emotionally attached to the person and this can really screw shit up. I don't care what anybody says, sex involves more than the thrusting and pushing of a penis in a vagina, ass, mouth, etc. so believe it or not, eventually sex can complicate things. It really sucks when one person catches feelings, while the other one is still enjoying the booty and the buddy (or the dick and delight of friendship). Then the person all caught up in their feelings has a very difficult choice to make in regards to what to do now. Best bet in that case is to simply end that "benefits" part, but we all know that's easier said than done...esp if that person knows how to make ur eyes Chinese and havin u beggin them and whatnot...smh more power to you

The Ugly - Now this to me has to be THEE worst part of with when friends with benefits goes bad. The worst part to me is when the person you gave this privilege to also has another "friend with benefits" and you find out. Like damn somebody else is riding the same dick or fuckin the same pussy that you thought you dominated. Now, at least with me, I make sure the parties are separated...because I know how men are...I understand the opposite sex. However, with females that catch their "friend" being too friendly with others, females get caught all up in their emotions. One of my friends (that's a male) is confused about why some girl is mad at him. He's such a nigga and the only thing he understands about a female is the juicebox smh but as much as women don't want to admit, we are emotional creatures. I don't care what any woman says, at the end of it all they want love and affection, and after a while the whole "Friends with benefits" thing tends to feel like a relationship after a while. But that's on the end of when it becomes ugly for the female. Now, as for the males, I can only say what I observe and give my interpretation well simply because I don't have a dick and balls jangling between my legs. But from personal experience, it is definitely important to keep your men away from each other because men are kind of protective of their "territory". Now, I'm not saying that women are property, but if men take a liking to you enough for the friends with benefits. Now I can tell you from personal experience that this has to be the case. Long story short, my friend with benefit found out I was at another dude's house and he was acting like a little bitch begging and pleading for me to come and get him. Little did he know, the dude's house I was at is gay so since I'm slangin a dick he had absolutely nothin to worry about. But I digress.

So...what's my stance on friends with benefits? Theoretically it's a great concept...in the end it can fuck one over badly. But, I say enjoy every bit of the ride...life is full of ups and downs so that's just a facet of every part of life. In any and everything that you do, wrap it up. KEEP GETTIN IT IN!!! That is not the world's greatest advice smh. 

Leave your comments about this topic. I think this is an interesting topic that many have come across either in thought or deed at some point in life. 

Ta ta for now...TOODLES!!!  XOXO

Institutionalization...HATE IT!!!

So...I used to joke with my friends a lot about how I hate school and whatnot, but I have come to the sad realization that it is definitely the truth. One thing (and it might really be the only thing that I don't like about college) is that it tries institutionalize how I think. It is one thing to have me learn new things, acquire new knowledge, but then it's a different thing to try and condition me to think a certain way. That is what I do not like. With being an English major, there is a lot of ambiguity. In being an English major we are to learn how to make critical analysis. However, I often feel that if the analysis or thought process isn't how the professor wants it, then it's wrong. I think that is a contradiction. How can one say that one's interpretation of a literary text is right or wrong? If it's different, I can accept it being that, but wrong??? That is where I cannot stand. This isn't to say that this has necessarily happens to me all the time, this is just an observation that I have made in general (happens to me and others).

This second dislike about higher education may be because I attend an HBCU, but I am increasingly annoyed and tired of having to forever over-exaggerate being black. Meaning I am tired of always having to re-affirm my blackness. I am dark skinned, there is absolutely no way I can separate myself from being black just like I can't separate myself from being a woman...it's impossible. I am an individual that doesn't like to be boxed in and always categorized. Granted that means I have an issue with society as a whole because that's all this society does...place labels on me and people in general. Anywho, I always find that I have to write and analyze a lot from the perspective of being a black person. That is too comfortable, especially seeing as to how I attend an HBCU. The unfortunate part is I am not the only one that feels this way...that almost disturbs me. Now I grew up in a church that has taught me to be unashamedly black and unapologetically Christian, but after a while I get tired of always feeling like I bear the burden of proclaiming my blackness...I'm black...enough said.

Where did this whole thing start? Well I was sitting in one of my English classes. In this class we learn about different types of criticism. That's fine...the class teaches us how to analyze works from different perspectives. However, one chapter that I noticed we skipped over in our book was lesbian, queer, and gay criticism. Now from my other blog posts you might wonder why am I always discussing sexuality. This is why...as an African American woman, I know about oppression. The new oppression (not negating that the black struggle isn't over, but it is not the only struggle) is sexuality. If you aren't  heterosexual, you are looked down upon. Point blank period. I find that it is problematic that my class skips this chapter. We can sit up in just about all of my classes and discuss being black all day and night (which becomes a tired discussion to me after a while), but we can't discuss other pressing issues such as sexuality. It bothers me that this is taboo because we are at a university...an educational institution where we are supposed to be free to discuss just about anything. However, I can clearly see that there is still no freedom in being institutionalized.

So now all of that is said and done what does any of this mean? Nothing...just venting. It's unfortunate that I feel this way, but I have to suck it up and keep it moving because I need a degree (actually another one after undergrad) to be what I want to be....an ordained minister. *Sigh* it angers me that I feel this way...I often feel like people won't understand, so this is why I decided to just blog my frustrating thoughts. Anywho it was good posting yet another blog. Like always, feel free to comment on this blog...I want to know your thoughts. Are you seriously frustrated with college? If so, what frustrates you about it? Let it all out..I just did! It makes you feel a little better....*smiles* Ta ta for now...TOODLES!!!

Call Me Crazy But...

So, I have these weird (well what I call to be weird...but who knows it might be normal) thoughts that fly around in my head...here goes some of my thoughts

1. There is a cure for AIDS, a cure for cancer, etc. Pharmaceutical companies are just profiting a lot from the suffering of others. Think about it, if pharmaceutical companies released these cures, there wouldn't be a need for their existence and therefore they would lose money.

2. No one owns money and because of that, there can never be a true definition of wealth. Think about it...who owns the legal tender that is in your pocket? The government doesn't even own the money. It's funny how we talk about how much money we "have", but it's not ours. Now I see why older people were full of pride with the ownership of homes that they physically built...that is something that they can truly call their own.

3. Technology is the devil. Remember the days when we had to memorize each other's numbers? We actually exercised our brains. Now, we barely talk to one another. We text but we barely use our anytime minutes. And if we lose our phones, we feel like we lost our lives.

4. There is a secret plan going on behind hip hop music. There is a reason why hip hop seems to be dumbing us down. Think about it. There was a time where hip hop used to be informative. Now, all we do is dance to rhythmic beats and catchy phrases with little to no meaning. I know I'm supposed to be the change that I want to see...maybe I should jump into this rap game and turn it upside down...not for money and fame, but for necessity.

5. I believe that the government killed Michael Jackson. Now honestly, that is a whole different blog post in and of itself, but I believe that Michael Jackson had a powerful message for the world in his last concert and he was killed before he could even give it to the world. Be clear, if one sits downs and studies Michael Jackson's songs, music videos, etc. one can possibly add up the huge message that Michael Jackson had to deliver to the world.

6. To be ignorant is to be happy. To be educated can lead to sadness. I actually laughed out loud when I typed that. I think this to a certain extent though. Sometimes it is better to not know some things, how things work, how things function, why things are the way they are. The reason why I say to be educated can lead to sadness is because the reality of our world is sad. However, if you are ignorant (meaning absence of knowing) of what is going on and how things function, one can truly be happy. Now I am not saying that we should all be ignorant...I'm just saying that sometimes being educated is definitely a burden.

7. There is no distinction of sexuality. If you want my opinion about sexuality, refer back to my previous blog entries.

8. The best way to live is fight for life so hard that you are willing to die for something.

9. If one is dwelling in his or her thoughts too long and hard, one can be insane (tries to stop thinking now before that happens lol)

10. My thoughts are so out of the box that when I become "somebody" I can be killed because of them...think about the greats that have been killed...and think about how "out of the box" their thoughts are. If a lot of us really exposed some of our thoughts that could better this world, somebody's not gon' like it.

Alright that's enough of all that. Tell me a few of your "call me crazy but..." thoughts. Who knows...you might not be the only one thinking some of these things. Ta ta for now...toodles!! XOXO